Being alone

Hey, guess what??

It's okay to be alone.

This concept has taken me YEARS (and many heartbreaks) to figure out.

Here's my most recent dating history:

- Dated a guy for five months...he broke it off

- Days after that breakup, I casually began dating (and I'm using that term loosely) someone I'd been friends with for a few years. We "dated" for about seven months.

- My friend who I'd been "dating" decided to try and work things out with his ex wife. He introduced me to a guy that his ex wife had gone on a date with. I immediately began dating that guy. We dated for about eight months. The breakup was pretty consensual. He's since gone back to his ex wife...I see a pattern here...

-Not even a month later, I met and started dating another guy. We dated for about five-ish months before it ended.

To make a long story short, I went through four guys in a year and a half.

That's not good.

I have since given myself a rule that I'm not allowed to date for six months to a year. I'm on month three and the break has been so beneficial.

I'm learning how to be alone. You would think learning to be alone wouldn't be that big of a deal, but as many of you know it is a big deal, especially for people who deal with insecurity or self-esteem issues.

It's okay to be alone. It's okay not to have someone all the time. Having a man does not define my value. I have learned that allowing my worth to be placed in another person's hands is detrimental. 

I know so many people who struggle with this issue. The thought of being alone terrifies them. It breaks my heart to see them struggle. 

I'm here to tell you, if you're not happy with yourself then you're not going to be happy with anyone. Learn to love yourself. Treat yourself the way you would want others to treat you. That's how you're going to one day be able to enter into a healthy long-term relationship.

In the meantime, enjoy your singleness and stop searching for ways to get him back...see, I know what you're doing because I've been there.


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