Fall down seven times, stand up eight

To date, as of right at this moment (well, as of yesterday morning when I weighed) I have gained back 11 of the 40 pounds I've lost. 

Since June, 2011 I have been on this weight loss journey. I have had MANY ups and downs. Days when people would comment on my weight loss and then days when I looked in the mirror and saw the old me.

On one hand, I have accomplished so much since June, 2011. I've run a 5K, 10K, 15K, and three half marathons. And, I became certified to teach spin.

On the other hand, the binge eating I had a problem with before has returned and it's come back with a vengeance. I'm beginning to think it's worse than before. 

How in the world have I gone backwards and picked up old habits? Exercising isn't the problem. I love to exercise. But, I can eat a whole box of Nutty Bars in one sitting. I can finish off a box of Cheesits like it's nothing. It's getting out of hand and I'm getting discouraged.

I DON'T want to go back to the unhappy person I was three years ago. I DON'T want to start from the beginning. I DON'T want to sabotage all the work I've put into becoming a healthier, happier person. 

This journey is hard. If anyone tells you regardless, they are lying through their teeth. The whole reason we are able to be successful in our weight loss is learning from past mistakes and breaking bad habits.

Eating for me is like a drug. You tell me I can't eat something and I will prove you wrong. It's an emotional high for me and so often it's my comfort.

I've blogged many times about falling off the wagon. 

The truth is, I get SO burnt out...counting calories, drinking enough water, getting enough fruits and veggies.

Once again, I'm getting back on the wagon. It's a daily struggle (sometimes it's an hourly struggle). This week I'm only focusing on logging everything into My Fitness Pal. Good or bad, it's all going in there...even those two Cadbury Eggs I ate yesterday.

Next week, I will work on drinking more water.

One week at a time, one day at a time, one hour at a time...  


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