I might have issues, but I'm not dysfunctional

About a week ago, I received a text that said this: "Why do you think you're 32 and you've never been married?" 

Maybe I misunderstood the tone of the text, but I really don't think so given the source. In other words, this person was saying, "Do you realize that you're 32 and dysfunctional...and that's why you're not married?"

I almost fell out of my Hoveround...because apparently 32 is quite up there in years. Almost time to apply for my AARP membership.

Well, I might have issues but I am not dysfunctional...

I have always been aware that because I'm a single mom who never married my son's dad there will be some people who stereotype. That's just life. Unfortunately, there is a stigma when it comes to single moms. Many are viewed as weak, second class, always looking for help (financial or whatever), and desperate. When life slapped me right in the face and I realized I was going to be a single mom, I made the decision that raising my son in a loving and stable home would be my number one priority. We were going to beat the not-so-great statistics of children who are raised in single parent homes.

Of course I want to find that person to share my life with. Of course I want to get married. But, when I made the decision to raise Brenn in a stable home, it meant dating was put on the back burner. I've dated and at times thought that I had found the person that could potentially become serous; but it just never worked out. Brenn has met very few of the people I've dated in the past 12 years. 

I have high standards and just recently I realized how important it is to stick to the non-negotiables. Non-negotiables are going to be different for everybody, but every single person who is dating should have them and should never compromise on those. For example, I am a Christian and it's a very important part of my life. The person I'm dating might be perfect in every way, but if he's not a Christian then it just won't work. So yes, I guess I have high standards and I'm picky. My decisions affect not just me, but also Brenn.

And, yes, I do have issues. I struggle with low self esteem, I struggle with trusting people...the list could go on and on. Yes, I'm 32 and and I haven't been married. However, I won't allow negative people to tell me that I'm dysfunctional or there's something wrong with me.

One of my favorite quotes is from Eleanor Roosevelt: "No one can make you feel inferior without your consent."

Long story short, my lesson for the day is this: Don't allow other people's negativity make you feel less valuable.


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